Rebooting...

Rebooting...

Making up for lost ground - is it always possible

Sometimes you miss doing things. Sometimes this does not remain just sometimes. It is a bit of stretch. And when it starts to stretch and you start missing things for longer time, then catching up becomes very difficult. Making up for lost ground becomes nearly impossible. You try to run (symbolically) and you find that first of all that your own inertia is very high now. It has built up. You start overcoming that and then you find that all the things which you missed have pissed of the people who matter and there is lot of inertia in them. Even to the extent that they now have given up on you.
It is very difficult to convince them. They have suffered because of you. There faith and belief in you is shaken. You track record is pathetic. The practical difficulties also take toll. The interest in doing things are finished. You have let them down... You were not there when it mattered... What do you do?

My problem is worse than yours

"Yes. I have the bigger problem. Your problem is manageable. But mine is impossible. I don't know what to do."
Ok. This is not me. Or rather it is not just me. This is what a lot of us say when we have problems. All of us have a set of problems. When my friend, relative, family member mentions their problem, either to draw parallels & thereby console us or may be express their own issues, we immediately get defensive. "My problem is worse. Don't compare. How insensitive of you".
"I am worse of than you. My problem is bigger" - I don't know why we do this. I somehow can't understand why we want to feel that our problem is bigger. Is it ego? That is probably stupid of us.
"I am facing a bigger problem". I guess it could be way to prepare an excuse for ourselves if we fail to tackle it. The idea probably is that - "I am facing a bigger problem. That is why I am not able to manage it. That guy doesn't have that big a problem. That is probably why (s)he is managing." Is it a way to excuse ourselves for inability, incompetence and find a easy way to give up. This could be in some cases.
"My sorrow is bigger." We suffer and we really don't have a way to solve it. It could be missing a loved one who has left you forever. In this case why do we say this. I don't know. Is it because we miss them so much, and feel very lonely and we say these things as a let out.

How do you compare problems and sorrows? Is there really a framework? I would like to know.

God - My mind's walking stick

You see an old man who weilds a walking stick and walks briskly in the park with his head held high. You see a physically challenged person using a crutch and crossing the road without anybody's help. What do you feel?
Is it sympathy? Is it respect? The old man would have probably made me smile and then look at him with respect. The challenged man would have made me feel initially sad and then looking at his independence, I would have felt lot of respect.
Both these people are talking support - Does that make them inferior in any way? I hope not. If they don't look inferior, why should a man who is emotionally challenged taking support considered inferior. If I get really tired of the trials of my life, I look for a shoulder to rest. So, does that make me weak. They say everybody falls and what is important is how you pick yourselves up. Now after a fall picking up is not always easy. If a friend pulls me up to feet, does he look at me as weak. If others think that I am weak because of this, do I have to really care?
If all this is fine, and if I use god in any of these forms, what is wrong with that? Narayana, can you answer me.

Some days back, I read "The Greater Common Good" by Arundhati Roy. I started it with nothing particular in my mind, but as I read it, a barrage of related thoughts came to me. The environmental un-concern in which I live, the havoc of the big project dams, the in-humaneness of the people including me. I would have given up the writing as dramatic had it not been for the amount of evidence and numbers she was putting forth. That made me realize it was all truth and the state of affairs is unimaginable. I felt the need to do something. I thought may be I should call the Narmada Bachao Andolan, I considered going on fasting for day or two. None of this happened. I did visit couple of sites on the same topic: narmada.org and narmada.aidindia.org . Decided to keep track and voice my opinion through whatever means... increase awareness... that is the least I can do...
There needs to be some time when we think of things like environment. If we don't make the effort, it will be thrust on us some point in time.

Shyam said to me, 'This democracy is all not worth it. There is no order. We need dictatorship or military rule'. I said, 'Thanks to democracy that you are still alive'.
Sometimes you get inspired by the books you read. I have just started reading 'The Argumentative Indian' and this came to me. Nothing new about it, but still felt good to mention it

Health: They say that it is the most important wealth. In recent times, I feel there is a lot of truth in it. There was a time when these were just proverbs and words. I did not give it much thought. Lately though, I seems to have incurred some good deficit in my Health account. A spate of cold and coughs (have one right now) with some garnishing of headaches and stomach upsets. So now I understand. People say that the root to this is my weight. I have hit a century after quite sometime of loitering around at 90s. I know I need to reduce my weight. But I dont know how to manage it... Have to do something... Let me see...